lone·ly
adjective, lone·li·er, lone·li·est.
1.
affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
2.
destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc.: a lonely exile.
4.
remote from places of human habitation; desolate;unfrequented; bleak: a lonely road.
5.
In fact, I'm in the opposite situation. I'm in the middle of a city that stretches for miles upon miles. This expansive metropolis surrounds me with over 10 million people. I am continuously surrounded by students, both adults and children. I enjoy the frequent companionship of the other foreign teachers, as well as some new Korean friends. But loneliness can occur in the strangest places at the strangest times. I'm coming to find that when I've heard some say they 'feel totally alone even though they are surrounded by people', I was hearing the absolute truth.
standing apart; isolated: a lonely tower.
I am not destitute of companionship.
I am not in a solitary situation.
I am not on a desolate island, removed from all human habitation.
I am not isolated from humanity.
In fact, I'm in the opposite situation. I'm in the middle of a city that stretches for miles upon miles. This expansive metropolis surrounds me with over 10 million people. I am continuously surrounded by students, both adults and children. I enjoy the frequent companionship of the other foreign teachers, as well as some new Korean friends. But loneliness can occur in the strangest places at the strangest times. I'm coming to find that when I've heard some say they 'feel totally alone even though they are surrounded by people', I was hearing the absolute truth.
When one gets a new toy for Christmas, it's so exciting. There's so many new things to do with it, so many people to show it to, and so many things to tell about it. But slowly, ever so slowly the new fades and the excitement begins to wane.
When one arrives in a new country, alone, there is much excitement. Everything is new - people, routines, places, food, activities. But slowly, ever so slowly the new fades and the excitement begins to wane. Close friends have not been made yet. The language has not been learned yet. Finding MY place in this new job and team of English teachers has not quite happened yet.
Routines start to become familiar and there is now time to think on what was left at home, that life is continuing on. The familiar back home is beginning to switch roles and melt into the realm of unfamiliar.
I love my job and having an extended new experience.
But family, friends, bed at home . . . know that tonight especially you are being missed.
I know the feeling! Though CA is not as far as Korea. Change is still lonely.
ReplyDeleteMmmm, preach it sista! I like having people who know at least a bit of how I'm feeling. Let's be friends. lol
ReplyDeleteTransparency in writing is a quality I appreciate. Keep it coming and stay strong over there. We are all so proud!
ReplyDeleteIt's a difficult thing to do. But if I don't think about how many people are actually reading this and that I'm continually being vulnerable by displaying all my true emotions here . . . then it's a bit easier. Only slightly tho. lol Thanks man.
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ReplyDeleteyou are missed much as well.... Love ya sweetie!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are so happy that you have had these experiences but would love to have you home too...
it is so comforting to know that know matter where you go God has you in His care...
Love ya
MOM
!!!!
ReplyDeleteSame mind?? Reading this was deja vu! (http://jessicastotz.blogspot.com/2011/02/theres-been-invasion.html)
I'm praying for you! The very hardest stage is the post-honeymoon stage... looks like you've reached it! But plugging through it is one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do; you'll emerge on the other side more appreciative and integrated and a part of the culture, and that heart you cleaned a corner of will be full of joy for your place and your job and your students and your mission.
Oh, it will be worth it. Keep plugging. You're on your way!
Yeah, that was a bad night. But I'm having less and less of those moments. There are times I pine for home but I just have to keep remembering why I'm here and that we always have to move on in life sometime and the moving on might and growing might as well begin now!
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