Reasons

Things happen for a reason. Sometimes we never know that reason, sometimes we know right away, and sometimes we find out a ways down the road. Some people may think that saying this is a cop out or a way to wimp out of dealing with the reality of failure and disappointment. However, I believe that God always does things to continue guiding us on the path he knows is best for us. Even if we get sidetracked, he finds some way to gently nudge us back in the right direction.

This past week I was chatting with one of my friends back home. We were talking about patience and waiting and other such subjects. As I poured out my heart through my furiously typing fingers I began to realize that in this past year events in my life have been significant, even if not all recognizably so. I stopped at the booth in Ortner Center to just look at the information about teaching in South Korea and ended up having a phone interview within a couple of weeks. Now, I'm still not fully sure of the reasons that God brought me here but I think a couple are beginning to come clear, the sleep is being rubbed from my eyes. Maybe I'll never fully know all the reasons as to why I came or if I made any difference but many times, it seems, we do not have the privilege of knowing the impact we had on someone or someplace. We just hope and pray we did our best and let God take care of the rest.

I had many problems with my visa documents and apostilles and governments and . . . yeah. Ah, the joys of attempting to work and live abroad. Through those instances God was teaching me patience, lots of it. Lessons in patience have happened throughout my life of course, but this past summer was steps above any of those previous lessons. As I said to my friend, it's like taking an elementary algebra course and then, BAM!, you move straight into Calculus II. Intense. There have been many a times since arriving here that I've had to use my newly sharpened skills in patience: waiting for subways; trying to teach students how to pronounce the 'z' as in zebra or 'j' as in jar or 'l' as in lion sounds; doing the same English drills over and over so much that you start to dream about Mrs. Miller and Mary going shopping and Mr. Oh going to Busan instead of the island and Steve and Bob taking a taxi home instead of the subway; waiting for the rice cooker to make my lunch (it takes like 25 min - way slower than the one at home); finding out I have to sign a new (and 3rd) contract to get paid (the disorganization of this administration often wears my patience thin); waiting to get paid in cash because I cannot yet create a bank account; waiting to get paid some more, waiting, waiting, OH! finally getting paid on the 4th day after pay day. It is said patience is a virtue - to live and work here, it is a necessary life skill.

Chuseok is this weekend - it's basically like Thanksgiving back in the states but with much different food and they are thankful to ancestors. I was supposed to be in the Philippines right now, visiting friends and exploring yet another new country full of tropical fruit and white beaches. Instead I had to stay in Seoul while my roommate and her friend left for the airport this morning, on their way to the Philippines. See, I can leave the country if I well please, no problem. However, I feel the institute here would be slightly perturbed if I phoned and told them I may or may not be stuck in the Philippines, unable to re-enter the wonderful land of Korea. See, I still don't have my alien registration card (yet another place where patience gets to kick in) and if I were to leave the country, I would have no registration card or number, my visa would expire, and, well, I would essentially be lost in translation, of both languages and citizenship issues. So I decided that the wise and mature choice would be to remain here - and hopefully I'll get my refund (which is only half the price I paid for the package) by the end of next month (more patience). I know God had a reason for me not going right now. I can kind of think of a couple of possibilities, but I haven't zeroed in on any one specific thing. Maybe it's actually a combination of reasons. I don't know for sure, but I trust that God knows what He's doing, because usually I never know what I'm truly doing, I just seem like I do. God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts, so obviously His reasons and methods of doing things are going to be astronomically better than ours. I'm glad He's got it under control - I don't know anyone else more perfect for the job.