I have often (at least every other day) felt at least two or more of the above things. Am I really doing anything meaningful with my life right now? Is there any good impact being made on any of my students at all? Have I shown Jesus to anyone since I've been here?
Foreign teachers are in charge of most of the weekend programs - Friday night vespers and conversation, Saturday morning conversation club, Saturday morning sermon translation, children's story, etc. Last week was my week to write and present a vespers talk, and afterward lead out in discussion. I finally got around to typing it on Thursday night after all my classes (working here has slightly forced me into procrastination mode many times, much to my despair).
Friday night came and I was nervous, as usual. I always have and always will hate public speaking. Slightly odd, since I'm a teacher and love my job, but presenting material in a speech/sermon like manner still always causes me anxiety for at least 2 days in advance. The presentation went off without a hitch, however. Engaging, yet short and to the point, as my coordinator later told me. We then went into group discussion time.
At the beginning of the discussion, I always like to have everyone introduce themselves to the group and tell us their class level and teacher. One of my former Level 2 students from the January/February term, Kim, had come that night. It came his turn for introduction.
"Hi. My name is Kim. I am in level three and my teacher is Tim. Ashley was my teacher for level two last term though. I came tonight because I really like her."
I was slightly shocked. We always had fun in that evening Level 2 class - laughing, joking, making fun of each other. In fact, Kim was the student who straight up called me weird, right to my face during conversation (which I laughed quite hard about, probably making me seem even more weird). I never knew that my bad jokes and sometimes funny teaching mistakes could have enough impact on someone to cause them to attend a religious evening program. After discussion, as we were all leaving, Kim asked when I was speaking next and asked me to let him know, because he would come that time, too.
How could my weakness and tiredness bring about this result? Just when I was feeling like I really haven't done much of value over here, BOOM! This experience slapped me in the face and woke me up. He may not have came for exactly the right reasons. But, he came and will again come. Those will be opportunities for him to hear God's message to him that he may not have had before. It's kind of crazy when you realize that God has actually used you in some way and you get to see the beginnings of the results. This feeling boils and bubbles deep down in the pit of your stomach and slowly defies gravity until it makes it to the top and ends in an incredulous smile on your face and excited words flowing from your mouth. It gives you strength to press on. It gives you a reason to keep going.
As a teacher, you often never know where, when, or how you will impact someone's life. Last week, I was able to see just a tiny bit of that impact though. And it made all my stress, exhaustion, and frustrations worth it.
At the beginning of the discussion, I always like to have everyone introduce themselves to the group and tell us their class level and teacher. One of my former Level 2 students from the January/February term, Kim, had come that night. It came his turn for introduction.
"Hi. My name is Kim. I am in level three and my teacher is Tim. Ashley was my teacher for level two last term though. I came tonight because I really like her."
I was slightly shocked. We always had fun in that evening Level 2 class - laughing, joking, making fun of each other. In fact, Kim was the student who straight up called me weird, right to my face during conversation (which I laughed quite hard about, probably making me seem even more weird). I never knew that my bad jokes and sometimes funny teaching mistakes could have enough impact on someone to cause them to attend a religious evening program. After discussion, as we were all leaving, Kim asked when I was speaking next and asked me to let him know, because he would come that time, too.
How could my weakness and tiredness bring about this result? Just when I was feeling like I really haven't done much of value over here, BOOM! This experience slapped me in the face and woke me up. He may not have came for exactly the right reasons. But, he came and will again come. Those will be opportunities for him to hear God's message to him that he may not have had before. It's kind of crazy when you realize that God has actually used you in some way and you get to see the beginnings of the results. This feeling boils and bubbles deep down in the pit of your stomach and slowly defies gravity until it makes it to the top and ends in an incredulous smile on your face and excited words flowing from your mouth. It gives you strength to press on. It gives you a reason to keep going.
As a teacher, you often never know where, when, or how you will impact someone's life. Last week, I was able to see just a tiny bit of that impact though. And it made all my stress, exhaustion, and frustrations worth it.
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