Motivation?

Vacation. What a splendid idea. Whoever came up with it was a genius.

Ending vacation. What a horrible idea. Whoever came up with it would be on my hit list if I had one.

"There is an end to everything, good things as well." Unfortunately the last half of this statement is as true as the first. And so, a 10 day period of frolicking in the warm weather of the Philippines and holing up in my apartment in the cold weather of Korea came to an end last week. It was inevitable.

I assumed that when I returned to work I would have no problem getting back into the swing of things. [insert buzzer sound] . . . wrong answer. Eight hours of classes starting at 6 a.m. and ending at 9:30 p.m. seems to have overwhelmed my senses in some way. All I can think about is how I don't want to wake up at 5 every morning and go to bed after 10 every night. All I can think about is the enormity of the amount of grades I will have to enter, tests and homework I will have to grade, and potential problems I might face. All I can think is, "Is it Friday yet?" Why? Why has my positive attitude suddenly decided to threaten to pack up and head south for the winter? Motivation, where have you gone? Stop hiding from me - this is not a time to play games.

Don't get me wrong, the first couple days of classes I have enjoyed - once I was already there. I really do love my students and I still love teaching as much as I ever have. So why, when I sit in my house with my books in front of me, can I focus on everything else BUT the task at hand.There is nothing that gives me the right to feel this way. There is no excuse to be made for my loss of drive and excitement at the prospect of new classes and challenges. I don't understand it and I don't like it. What is this mud that bogs me down as I try to keep moving forward? What is this ice that's spun me off onto the side of life's road? I need some AAA road side assistance or something to get me moving again.

To all of you who read this blog, I ask one thing of you. Please pray for me.