Friday, January 25, 2013

van Schebo?

Starry Night. Post-impressionist. The Potato Eaters. Cut off left ear. Sunflowers. Dutch.

Who?

That's right, Vincent van Gogh!

This past Sunday I had the chance to accompany my high school friend and her fiance to the Seoul Arts Center. Here we were able to view a plethora of van Gogh's original artwork at a temporary exhibit. It was the kind of opportunity I never would have had in Luck, WI, and I was so excited to take advantage of it. 

An artist often portrays emotions through their work. Van Gogh seemed no exception to this. Some of his earlier paintings have darker and more earthy hues, inspired greatly by his surroundings at the time. A somber mood feels as though it's being exuded from his choice in tones. After moving to Paris, his scenery, how he was viewing life, his surroundings, changed. The brighter lighting inspired more vibrantly colored works. Softer and brighter hues and tones are used and the paintings feel more alive, a bit more happy and contented almost.

It got me thinking about life (such a philosopher I am). Which, by the way, I can't believe I actually had time to do, what with the craziness of my schedule this term and all. But seriously, each of our lives is a masterpiece in the making. From day one, our blank canvas is marked with strokes of genius and stupidity, compassion and cruelty. The choices we make, what we surround ourselves with, how we view life, with whom we associate ourselves - these all have an effect on the tones and hues that get mixed on our palettes.

How is your work of art starting to look? Are the colors mixed and muddled together? Are they bright and vibrant, or are your hues a little somber and forlorn looking right now? Is your canvas slathered in layer after layer of experiences? Are you starting to paint what is and will be over what was? No matter where you are in life - if you've messed up or fallen down, been successful or are still trying to figure out what to do, made mistakes, have regrets, loved or feel unlovable - it's still a masterpiece in the making. And I believe each masterpiece will remain unfinished until that final day, always missing a certain color here, a particular brushstroke there.

But there is a buyer to which it doesn't matter that all of these pieces aren't finished. In fact, that's His favorite part about them. He bought them all, every last one, with His blood and sacrifice. No higher price could be paid than life, no other currency is more valuable.

He's got an eye for art. After all, He is the greatest Artist of them all. He paints every sunset and sunrise and He sculpted the mountains and canyons. So, if you think you're a work of art not worth looking at, think again, because He thinks you're the most valuable of all. 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Motivation?

Vacation. What a splendid idea. Whoever came up with it was a genius.

Ending vacation. What a horrible idea. Whoever came up with it would be on my hit list if I had one.

"There is an end to everything, good things as well." Unfortunately the last half of this statement is as true as the first. And so, a 10 day period of frolicking in the warm weather of the Philippines and holing up in my apartment in the cold weather of Korea came to an end last week. It was inevitable.

I assumed that when I returned to work I would have no problem getting back into the swing of things. [insert buzzer sound] . . . wrong answer. Eight hours of classes starting at 6 a.m. and ending at 9:30 p.m. seems to have overwhelmed my senses in some way. All I can think about is how I don't want to wake up at 5 every morning and go to bed after 10 every night. All I can think about is the enormity of the amount of grades I will have to enter, tests and homework I will have to grade, and potential problems I might face. All I can think is, "Is it Friday yet?" Why? Why has my positive attitude suddenly decided to threaten to pack up and head south for the winter? Motivation, where have you gone? Stop hiding from me - this is not a time to play games.

Don't get me wrong, the first couple days of classes I have enjoyed - once I was already there. I really do love my students and I still love teaching as much as I ever have. So why, when I sit in my house with my books in front of me, can I focus on everything else BUT the task at hand.There is nothing that gives me the right to feel this way. There is no excuse to be made for my loss of drive and excitement at the prospect of new classes and challenges. I don't understand it and I don't like it. What is this mud that bogs me down as I try to keep moving forward? What is this ice that's spun me off onto the side of life's road? I need some AAA road side assistance or something to get me moving again.

To all of you who read this blog, I ask one thing of you. Please pray for me.