Back In Town

Wow . . . just wow.

The past couple of weeks have been chaos, happiness, craziness, sadness, busyness . . .
Unless you have lived in a foreign country for an extended period of time, it's difficult to explain the feeling you have after arriving back in your home country.

My trip home was horrendous, to say the least. As Wednesday morning dawned with beautiful sunshine, my body donned congestion, fever, and sore throat. Awesome. After all the finalities of packing, I was finally sitting in the van with 3 of my friends/coworkers, on my way to Incheon Airport to start the long journey to the States. Goodbyes were said, security was gone through, and soon I was sitting at my gate for the first leg of my trip - a nine hour flight to Qatar. A fourteen hour flight to Chicago followed that, and the final flight was a 50 minute hop over to Minneapolis.

Before taking that final flight to Minneapolis, I had to go through baggage claim, find my new terminal, recheck my baggage, and go through security again. It was an emotional period of time for a sick and exhausted woman who just wanted to be done with traveling. Luckily an extremely tall and burly black security officer, who potentially could have been scary if you were doing something against the law, was who I asked for help. I believe God made sure that he was the only one in my direct line of sight. His voice was surprisingly calm and soothing (if he had read me a bedtime story, I would have fallen asleep). He knew just where to go and kept reassuring me, "Everything's gonna be aight, honey. Don't you worry now. We got this all taken care of." He stayed with me until I finally made it through security. It was an answer to a prayer I had never consciously said.

Four hours of sleep in over 33 hours. Congestion plaguing my sinuses, and now ears. Muscles aching from extremely extended periods of inactivity. To passersby, my family probably looked a lot more excited to see me than I did them. This is where the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover," definitely has relevance. Inside, I truly was overjoyed. But as my family excitedly stood up and waved the "Welcome Home Ashley" poster they'd made for me, all I could get out was a quiet, "Hey," and probably looked a bit under the influence of something . . .  But their energy slowly rubbed off on me and as we sat in the truck driving home, it was as if I had never left. Strange how that happens.

The last couple of weeks have consisted of a road trip down to visit Union College, a week long substitute teaching job for grades 1-4 at Minnetonka Christian Academy, and flying out to visit the one and only Kelly Phipps (for those who don't know, my roommate through all four years of college). As I left Korea, I imagined the changes would be huge, easy to spot, simple to explain. But as I've lived the last couple weeks back in the States, I've realized that the differences between my life in Korea and my life now are subtle, sneaking up at any given moment to surprise an unprepared me. The way to eat at a restaurant, the way to discipline in the classroom, the way to greet and show thanks to another person, the way to walk in the bathroom, the way to communicate with other (i.e., language. lol)  - there's so many more that are totally unexplainable. One has to have had the experience to fully understand the effects. And the effects are many.

I know that at some point, I'll start to feel that this is my place, that I'm finally back to belonging in this country. But at this moment, I still feel out of place. I still feel as though this isn't quite my home anymore. Who knows, maybe things will never fully go back to the way they were before I left the country. Once the unknown has been explored, it can no longer be called unknown. My horizons have been broadened, my views modified, my life changed - I wouldn't give any of it up for being able to feel like I fully belong again. I still have my friends and family who love me and whom I love - I just now have them on both sides of the world. I started this blog talking about the experiences I would have as "life as I don't know it" in another country. The truth is when life comes to the point as you do know it, that's when things start to get bland. Life needs a little bit of flavor. Step outside your box. Leave the zone of comfort and monotonous routine. Live life every day as you don't know it, for that's when it becomes something to savor and be excited about.

Endings Are Hard Too . . .

If beginnings are hard, as my first post on this blog made clear, I've come to realize the endings are just as hard.

Here it is - my last day in Korea, the land of kimchi, palaces, rice, and adjoomas. After a plethora of random moments of wondering what this day would be like, what I would do, how I would feel, I am finally experiencing it.

When I arrived in Korea, taking that first step onto the land I would be walking on for the next year, I didn't know where it would lead me. But putting one foot in front of the other, I made my way through immigration, to baggage claim and customs, and out the airport doors into the country I would come to view as home.

The difficulties I've had, the joys I've known, the people I've come to love, the food my taste buds have delighted in, the sights my eyes have seen, and every single experience I've had, be it good or bad, has gotten me to the point I am at in my life TODAY. This is a year I will never, ever be able to forget. When my hair is gray and my knees ache (more than they already do. lol) and my face has deep smile lines by my eyes, I will still remember the time a student came to vespers because of me; or having to depend on people to guide me because I had no idea what the signs said; or hitchhiking with a random Korean man; or traveling and experiencing a multitude of cultures and learning to adapt to situations quickly. Every day I have learned something. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright awkward and strange, I've grown and learned so much about the world, others, and myself. I feel as though I've lived two years within this one.

Living in a new place is strange at first, be it in your home country or abroad. But then, it starts to become familiar. The smells, the sights, the language, the routine of daily life. In a foreign country, if you allow yourself to become totally immersed in the culture and way of life, you begin to feel as if that country can no longer be called a foreign country. A special type of loyalty to and love for that country grows within you, one that no one can feel unless they have lived in a foreign country for an extended period of time. And then the time comes to leave - and you wonder what is waiting for you back in the land of your birth. That's what I ponder on this day of my departure.

Many goodbyes are still to be said this afternoon. A lunch date with my ladies is still to be had. Tears are yet to choke me up and be forced to stay in my eyes (I'm not sure if the tears or I will win that battle). I am hoping and praying that as I leave behind this unforgettable chapter in my life that I have the courage and strength to enter yet another new chapter.

So, until my feet are planted solidly on American soil . . .