Red Eyes and Sniffles

It's been a long Sunday.

Making friends has never come very easily for me. My introverted nature (yes, I am actually quite introverted, even though many a jaw has dropped in disbelief when I make this fact known) makes it difficult for me to start conversations with random strangers or to always want to be with people in general. I like my 'me time' and sometimes I like to just sit in silence with a person - some people find this awkward and uncomfortable so I may thwart off potential friends, sometimes without even realizing it.

Making friends in a foreign country with not only a personality barrier, but also cultural and language barriers to hack my way through, has been even more difficult. It may not seem like it on the outside to those around me, to those with whom I spend every day teaching, chatting, and planning. But I sometimes still feel somewhat alone, excluded, alienated . . . foreign.

So, when one of the few people I've met here who I thought I could call a friend told me today me he didn't want to be friends, that he never would have even spent any time with me if he thought I wouldn't be his girlfriend, and accused me of multiple things that were never true, I felt like someone had taken a knife, stabbed me in the heart, and then stabbed me again in the back. It's amazing how hard it can be to lose a friend when you only have a couple. And I felt horrible, like it was my fault that this had happened. I will admit, I can be slightly (possibly more than slightly) oblivious to things like this, but I've never had someone so vehemently accuse me and swear off even speaking to me. I didn't know what I did wrong and still don't understand. I only know that red eyes and kleenex were my companions this morning - my parents can attest to that fact. And those of you who know me well know that it takes a lot to make me cry over anything. Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess - this was one of those times.

I sometimes wonder if life would be easier if I kept to myself, minded my own business, and didn't even attempt to make relationships with anyone. Then I wouldn't have to worry about problems like this. I would only need to be accountable to me and to work out things with me. But then I realize how boring life would be. I may be introverted but I'm not a hermit. I crave human companionship too - just not as much as some people. Moving on is something I'm still in the process of learning how to do. I look at this as an experience to help teach me this life skill, and maybe as an experience to pull myself a little closer to the Best Friend I ever have or ever will have. Jesus's got my back.

Put On the Brakes and Blast "Three Little Birds"

Running. Rushing. Hurrying. Pushing. Scurrying.

It seems more often than not that this is how many of us live our lives. We hurry to catch the bus, we rush to make an appointment, we scurry to work - sometimes we get so focused on rushing that we become only mindful of ourselves and our priorities and forget about the people who are around us. We sometimes go too fast to see when we need to slow down for another who is placed in our way.

This was the final week of Term 5 classes here in Korea. There were term projects to hear, final tests to be given, and much grading and recording to be done. It was a busy and slightly stressful week for both students and teachers. By today, Friday, teachers were supposed to have all their grades and attendance records entered and decisions made on which students would pass to the next level and which would need to repeat. I now know, from personal experience, how difficult it can be for a teacher to tell a student that they did not pass the class, even though they did the work and studied hard. Trying to explain your reasoning to a native English speaker can sometimes be difficult enough. Now throw in the fact that this person brought someone into the room with them to help interpret my words and this predicament just got twice as difficult.

As students pass into the higher levels, they often need to repeat the level to increase their English conversation proficiency, comprehension, grammar, and pronunciation. Some students take it harder than others however. As Ray, a fellow teacher, and I sat in the hallway (because that's where we can get internet) and hurriedly worked on a power point project on Jamaica, which was due in a couple of hours, Romi, a wonderful young lady who has been studying at SDA for a little under 1 year, walked out of a classroom where she had met the ugly foe of failure. Her eyes and nose were the tell-tale red of someone who has been crying - hard and long.

Now, Ray and I could have continued working on the project. We needed to finish it very soon and when we continued with our morning classes, we wouldn't have time to work on it. We could have stayed in the fast lane and blown right on by this person who was broken down on the side of the freeway of life. Instead, I immediately told her to come sit beside me. I gave her a little hug and kept my hand on her shoulder. We didn't say much but kept quiet as her sniffling became a roller coaster of sound - soft then louder then a bit softer again. We told her we had just the song for her and up I pulled none other than Bob Marley's Three Little Birds. That was followed up with a good helping of One Love. After we finished the songs, we chatted a bit - Romi telling us why she was frustrated and mad at herself; us giving her encouraging words and telling stories about people who had failed or people who didn't understand why things didn't go as planned but soon found out there was a good reason. After about 45 minutes of this or so, we had her smiling and not thinking about her worries. When I met her in the hallway later that morning, we chatted for a few minutes. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and gently said, "Thank you". I knew that what we had done meant a lot to her.

In the span of a lifetime, taking forty five minutes to stop and encourage someone in need really isn't a great price. But it can do much more than you could imagine for the person you are encouraging. I have always been blessed throughout my life with at least one friend who always slows down to my speed when I'm only chuggin along at the speed minimum. They send encouragement my way and it rejuvenates me, wakes me up, gives me that extra boost I need to get going again. Think of a time when you were down and someone stopped to help you get back up. They said just the right words or did just the right thing to start you on your way again. It's one of the simple yet major acts we can do for our family, friends, and even people we may have just met. The next time you are hurrying through life and you see someone sitting in the wayside of despair, take a few minutes out of your day to encourage them and give them strength to get through the next minute, hour, or even day.
"But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is called Today . . ."  ~Hebrews 3:13

Fantabulously Fantastical Food

Food - a necessary and enjoyable part of life. Food brings people together, it makes us happy, it is a universal language - I love food. So, I decided, what better to post on than the food I've come to love here in good ol' Korea! So here is a small sampling - the tasty tantalizing tidbits in which my taste buds now take pleasure.

Bibimkoogsoo - cold, spicy noodle dish.

I don't even know what this actually is but it's
an extremely addictive rice treat.

That seaweed covered roll? Kimbap, my new food I can
eat anytime - morning noon, or night.

Lotte cookies are the best (although the chocolate
ones are better than the ones pictured here.

American pears I greatly despise. But the
Korean pear I adore. It's like an apple - but not.

The ever wonderful bibimbap - vegetables, rice, and fried egg.
Dolsot (steaming hot) is my favorite kind.

The bag doesn't lie - these snacks
are sweet and delicious! ^_^

Kimchi - I do love me some
fermented cabbage! lol

If all Ramen in the U.S. were as good as Jin
Ramyeon, it would've been a larger part of my college diet.

Hangwa, a slightly sweet light and airy
rice cake snack. A very traditional food
to eat on Chuseok.

Just a couple of the many variations of tteok (rice cakes).
Some I like better than others, some I really don't enjoy
one bit. lol

Samchi gui - Spanish mackerel. Never thought I'd ever
eat a fish with its face still attached - but it was
amazingly delectable!

Japchae (many variations of the spelling) - check out all
our side dishes, too!

A Time for Pondering

We never truly know how good we have it. We sometimes go through life complaining about the smallest and silliest of things: the weather, classes, traveling, walking, working. The list goes on. I know I'm definitely guilty of doing this. Sometimes it takes a something to remind us of the things for which we truly should be grateful. This is not a lecture on how you should be happy with what you have, but merely an experience I want to share. An experience that made me step back and think about my life and the lives of others.

Imagine with me, a place where food is scarce, rules are strict, and penalties even more so than rules. This past Sunday, two other foreign teachers, a Korean teacher, and I took a trip to the DMZ (demilitarized zone for those who don't know). It is the heavily guarded border separating brother from brother, the only remaining physically divided country. Excitement filled me as I found out the date for our adventure had been finalized. My fifth and sixth graders at Georgestone Elementary last year learned all about Southeast Asia and the DMZ was one of the topics covered. Ever since I knew I was coming to Korea, I knew it was one of the places I HAD to visit. I found myself feeling like a child waiting for that last day of school before summer vacation, carefully counting each day until the celebrated day arrived - it was so close yet so far. We were lighthearted, talking and laughing as we took the subway then an hour long bus ride to our destination. We had left the city and were entering small suburbs and country. Quick sidetrack - I was oh so glad to see the country. It had been a month and a half since I'd last been somewhere a building wasn't over 10 stories high and sidewalks were constantly crowded with people, delivery motorbikes, and even the occasional car. Finally, after our bus driver showed us her extremely fast and crazy driving skills, we got off and walked a short distance to the free shuttle bus that would take us up the mountain to the memorial and lookout point. 

One of many shots we got of North Korea, so barren and
abandoned compared to South Korea.

My first glimpses of North Korea had been while I was tightly gripping the hand rail that was keeping me from falling on the bus as I stood near the doors, waiting for our stop. It looked . . . well, it looked slightly different. It was a bit more brown, it didn't seem to have much foliage. After reading about all the invasion attempts and war-like episodes on the ground floor of the building, we headed up to the outside overlook. I slipped in a ₩500 coin into the extremely HUGE orange binoculars and glanced a close-up view of North Korea. As I slowly trolled from left to right and back again, strange feelings welled up inside of me. There were buildings, yes. But no one lives in those buildings. The North Koreans built them merely to show South Korea that they too can construct large structures, that they have the power and machines and resources. Without even standing on the other side of the river, with just a glimpse through some glass, the countryside had a aura of abandonment, eeriness, and silence. I saw one person riding a bicycle down a dirt road towards the scattering of useless high-rises. It was a Sunday afternoon - people should be out enjoying the last days of beautiful fall weather, children should be playing along the road and fields, chairs holding chatting adjoomas should be outside these houses. After my coin had given me its value in views, I just stood, quietly staring across the river, pondering anything and everything and nothing, all at the same time. After we had all had our fill of the view, we sat down in some chairs, soaking up the sun and feeling the gentle caress of the crisp autumn breeze. No words were spoken for a bit, just four silent beings lost in their own thoughts. The way I felt is not explainable. I have grappled with finding the right adjectives to describe my feelings, but I decided that I will never find the right words. It's one of those things where you have to be there, you have to experience it for yourself. 

Michael, the Korean teacher who had taken us, told us stories about the terrible living conditions and the treatment of citizens of North Korea. He talked about some of his experiences while he was in the military (which all men in South Korea are required to join). That afternoon was quite sobering. I'm so glad I got to experience it though, even if it wasn't jammed pack with endless moments of happiness, joy, and excitement. It made me think about who I am, where I come from, what I have done, am doing, and will do with my life. I'm grateful for a warm place to sleep; being able to feel safe and secure in my own home; having more than enough food to eat. I'm thankful for freedom of speech and religion, a government which is not dictatorial in style, and the endless opportunities I have to learn, travel, and work. I know this sounds like so many things both you and I have heard before. This time it's different though. This time, I had the experience. I ran into the hard wall of reality at the DMZ and realized that mine is nowhere near as thick and hard as that of others. Life can slink by quickly, days of complaints and wishing for something 'better' zipping by as fast as the Shinkansen Bullet Train. Don't let that happen. Find something in every week, every day, every hour, that you are grateful for. Doing that here in South Korea has made my life much more pleasant than if I constantly complained about wanting to go home, not liking my classes, being surprised when new classes are added to my schedule - that very morning . . . well, you get the idea. I'm not perfect by any means - I'm a work in progress and will be so until the day I die. There are definitely days I complain. But finding that silver lining in everything, being grateful that there are silver linings, affects you and those around you in a stupendously positive. As my good friend George Zimmer from Men's Warehouse always says, "You're gonna like the way you [feel]. I guarantee it."